看到国外小伙伴相亲也这么痛苦，我就放心了！
今天我们来说说相亲这个话题。作为“大龄青年，” 谁还没相过几次亲啊？看了国内外相亲吐槽大会，你会发现，不相亲...
今天我们来说说相亲这个话题。作为“大龄青年”， 谁还没相过几次亲啊？
看了国内外相亲吐槽大会，你会发现，不相亲，永远都不会知道这个世界可以有多精彩。
这两天，一则“小伙相亲被分手31次”的新闻又把相亲这个话题带火了。
新闻里面提到的这位小伙子尽管相貌还算俊朗，人也不错，可就是因为身高有点矮，竟然被拒绝31次，小伙子身高差不多在1米6。
然而，还有一种比被拒绝更让人难受的是，你根本不知道跟你见面的人到底有多奇葩
一些网友就忍不住纷纷来吐槽自己相亲遇到的那些狗血经历：
你是让我夸你机智呢还是夸你耿直呢
心和腿都表示很受伤
替面条感到尴尬
信任感就是这样被消磨没了的......
这么有缘不如在一起吧
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈嗝
精不精彩，意不意外，人生处处有惊喜啊。
没有相过亲的人生根本不完整啊，有木有？
然而要说相亲的那些奇葩经历，真是哪里都有，下面就是一波外国小哥哥小姐姐的相亲吐槽贴，一起来吃瓜啊！
“
My blind date gave me an IQ test on the spot. When he found out that I had a ‘good score’ he said he won’t be able to date me because I’m too smart for him and I will end up making his life miserable.
”
我的相亲对象现场给我做了个智商测试…..结果我得分竟然还不错。然而他拒绝了我….理由竟是我太聪明了，以后他肯定会过得比较惨…..
只想说, 姑娘真是好脾气，竟然真把题做完了，也是很耿直了。换个暴脾气的，当场让他体验下什么叫过的惨还想知道有多笨才可以被 “录娶” .....
I was supposed to meet this woman, Mary. I got to the designated spot 20 minutes early. No one for a while. About 15 minutes after I was supposed to meet her, a woman walks by. ‘Are you Mary?’ I asked her. ‘Are you [my name]?’ she asked me. ‘Yes I am.’ ‘I’m not Mary.
”
跟一个叫Marry的妹子相亲, 我早到20分钟，开始等待。约好的时间都过去15分钟了，看到一个妹子走过：
我：“你是Marry吗？”
她：“你是那XXX（我的名字）吗？”
我：“是我是我。”
她：“我不是Marry。”
Emmmmm……
心疼po主几秒钟
“
We met at a Burger King. He walked in with Velcro shoes, then kept smiling over at an older woman who came in before me. Found out the woman was his mother, and she was "supervising" our date.
”
本人妹子一枚，跟相亲对象约在汉堡王接头。他进来后便不断对另一桌的一位女士露出谜之微笑，后来才知道，那是他妈！
同一个世界，同一个妈妈啊！
想知道男主到底是什么心理？说你演技拙劣还是戏精附体呢？
We watched "War Horse" in theaters and cuddled. It was all very cute, until he leaned close to my neck and "neighed" like a horse.
”
跟相亲对象约电影，依偎在一起看了《战马》，目前为止一切看起来很甜蜜啊有木有，直到他轻轻地靠近我，在我耳边学了一声马叫.....
（我是谁？我在哪儿？我在干什么？）
“
I chatted a girl up online for about a week or so, and things went pretty well, so we decided to meet up. Let’s just say her photo didn’t match her appearance. Her excuse was that she had a crazy ex that was stalking her, so she used her sister’s photo and name. HER NAME!!! SHE LIED ABOUT HER NAME! Anyway, come to find out that she was an only child. She didn’t catch her slip up, but I sure did.
Then came the food. The waitress may as well have brought it out in a trough, as this woman didn’t use her utensils. Did I mention we were at a steak restaurant? That’s right folks, she picked her steak up and ate it with her hands. Let’s not even get into the potatoes. I couldn’t eat my meal. I told her I wasn’t feeling well and that I was just going to get my food in a box to go and I’d eat it later if I felt better. Her response: ‘Would you mind if I ate it?’ You would think this person hadn’t eaten in a week, as she proceeded to devour my dinner as well. She ate both steaks, both sets of mashed potatoes, all the bread, everything. The waitress comes over and says “Goodness. When is your due date?’ So she says that she is due in 2 months. WTF?!?!? First off, I couldn’t believe the waitress asked, but then was floored at the girl’s response.
After I paid for dinner, I kindly said it was ‘nice to meet you’ got in my car and went to the bar. She followed me. She followed me to the bar, and when I got out of my car proceeded to berate me over why I was going out instead of going home. Now she’s calling me a liar in the parking lot of the bar I frequent, and my work buddies are starting to roll in. I never heard the end of it. I said to hell with this crap, got in my car, and drove the hell home.
”
跟一个妹子网聊了一周，决定见面。然而发现他她本人和照片完全两个人啊。妹子是这么解释的： “因为前任是个窥探狂，所以我网上用的我姐姐的照片和名字。”
没错，名字都是假的！而且说到后面发现她并没有姐姐！ 但是妹子似乎全程并没发现自己说漏嘴了……
然而，更可怕的还在后面：
吃饭的时候才发现，妹子竟然不用餐具！我会告诉你我们吃的是牛排吗？！真的是用手生抓起来就开始啃啊！
那画面太美，以至于我根本吃不下啊。我能怎么办啊？于是我跟妹子说我这份干脆打包带走我回去再吃吧。猜猜她怎么说？
“我把你那一份也吃了你介意吗？”我敢介意么…..我只能心里默默碎碎念，饿成这样是一星期没吃饭吗。最后，妹子吃了两份牛排，两份土豆泥，面包和其他也一扫而光。
服务员小姐姐看完都忍不住了，“厉害了，我的姐，你预产期啥时候啊？”（小姐姐这里可能是一句玩笑话，孕妇在中后期容易饿，胃口会比较好）
然而，妹子张口就来了一句：“还有俩月。”我整个人瞬间石化，心中一万只羊驼奔腾而过。
要是你以为这就完了，那你还是太年轻
饭后，我结了账，礼貌告别然后各自散去。遇见这么糟心的事儿，血槽已空，于是我决定去我跟同事常去的酒吧放松一下。
刚停好车，竟然发现那个妹子竟一路跟踪我到了酒吧。从车里出来，她冲上来就破口大骂，说我是个骗子，干嘛不回家，还跑出来疯。
然后，酒吧里一些我的同事开始来围观了。之后，我的大脑就完全一片空白，我不记得后面发生了啥，只记得自己跳进车里，然后一路开回家......
小哥哥，不知道该说点啥，只能多心疼你几秒了…….今天的“相亲最惨小金人”给你了！
“
I got set up with the daughter of one of my parents’ friends. They showed me pictures and said nice things about her. I picked her up from her parents’ place (we were both home from college for the summer) and was a little surprised by how pretty she was. The pictures had been from when she was in high school, and didn’t do her justice. The date was dinner and a movie. Dinner went really well, we had a lot in common, she was very grounded and down-to-earth, cared about the environment. If I have a type, she was it. So as we’re walking to the movie theater, I slipped my arm around her waist. She pushed me away and got all serious. ‘I’m really sorry, because you seem like a nice guy, but … I’m a lesbian. I just went out with you to make my parents happy.’ Sitting through The Chronicles of Narnia with her was the most awkward two hours of my life.
”
父母安排我跟他们朋友的女儿相亲，给我看了照片，一直夸这个姑娘好（同一个世界，同一个套路）。
我去她家接她，竟然发现本人超美啊，比照片好看太多，是不是很意外？于是我们晚饭加电影。晚饭一切都进展顺利，我们聊了很多，还有不少共同点，姑娘本人也是各种接地气了。我内心也是激动无比啊，心里默默想着就是她了。
所以，我们走着去影院的路上，喜不自胜的我把胳膊放在了她腰间。然而姑娘一把推开我，一脸严肃得说，“真的很对不起啊，你是个好人，（完了完了）但是….我是蕾丝边。我跟你出来只是应付爸妈而已。”
然而电影还是看了。坐在影院里，看着《纳尼亚传奇》，我度过了人生中最尴尬的两小时。
事实证明，小哥哥你还是太年轻啊，又一次被长辈套路了吧！哈哈哈哈嗝!
也欢迎小伙伴们来分享一下，
有没有比较尴尬的相亲经历呢？
相亲的时候最讨厌哪种行为呢？
来源：People， 北青网，微博
关注 环球时报GlobalTimes
微信扫一扫关注公众号
