恋爱实验第九天：在相亲网站“买”男朋友跟网上买鞋一样
中英文对照——火热出炉...
纽约一对好朋友约定每天见面，用日记记录下每一天的交往。四十天后，好朋友能不能终成眷属？他们交换了日记，发现男女想法大不同。两人内心世界将向你敞开，你会不会找到自己的影子？拉到最下面有简单的回顾。欢迎分享。
第9天 Jessica的日记
Did you see Timothy today? 你今天见到Tim了吗？
What did y’all do together? 你们一起做了什么？Yes. 见了。
I was working at GoStudios in Chelsea. Our studio was doing a creative session for Adobe for their new Creative Cloud branding. The photo shoot involved locking ourselves in a photo studio for 24 hours straight to “play” and see what we could make. I wasn’t allowed to leave the studio space, so Tim came to visit me. 我在雀儿喜的GoStudios工作。我们工作室在为Abode新出的产品Creative Cloud做创意。这次拍摄是24小时全封闭，我们被锁在一个地方出不来。正事就是不停地玩，看看能做出什么好东西。我不能离开这里，所以Tim来找我。
Did anything interesting happen? 有没有什么有趣的事发生？
At one point in the afternoon I decided to use paint to cover our arms and legs, which we photographed as source material to create typography. The moment I finished painting myself blue, the elevator doors opened and Tim entered the studio space. I was pretty embarrassed! However, after four years of friendship, he already knows that I can be pretty strange. 下午某个时候，我决定把自己的手臂和大腿涂成蓝色，拍下来做成笔画来设计新字体。我刚涂完，电梯门就开了，Tim走了进来。超级尴尬的！不过经过四年的友情考验，他已经够了解我的古怪。
Did you learn anything new about Timothy? 你有没有更了解Tim？
Tim brought BJ, a 16-year old kid he mentors through Big Brother Big Sisters. I found it very sweet that he is a part of BJ’s life. I know Tim has amazing mentors who have been an important part of his personal and professional development. It’s great he is in a place where he can do the same for others. Tim带来了BJ，一个16岁的小男生。Tim通过“大哥哥大姐姐”这个组织成为BJ的辅导员。他能成为BJ生活里的一部分，我觉得很欣慰。我知道Tim在个人生活和职业发展里都有很好的人来指导他，导师是他的人生很重要的一环。他现在以同样的方式去帮助别人，真好。
Did you learn anything new about yourself? 你有没有更了解自己？
Usually I am an over planner when it comes to photo shoots like these. But reflecting on past work, often the best results came when I wasn’t trying so hard. They came out of periods of spontaneity, play, boredom, or even mistakes. So today was about just getting off the computer and just making shit. There was definitely a fear of failure, but we produced some unexpected and interesting things. 一般来说碰上了今天这样的拍摄，我会安排好每一件事情。不过回想起过去的工作，最好的创意常在没有用力过度的时候出现。灵感在随意的玩耍，无聊，甚至犯错的时候闪现。所以今天要放下电脑，怎么烂怎么做。害怕失败是肯定的，最后我们碰撞出了一些意想不到的有意思的东西。
This makes me realize that I too often rely on working with a plan. I operate off of to-do lists. I can’t even remember a meeting or dinner date if it is not in my iCal. These apps have become a second brain and they’re starting to run (and arguably ruin) my life. 这次工作让我发现，自己太常依赖一个定好的计划了。没有执行表就没办法运作。如果没有记在iCal（手机日历软件）里，我完全记不住任何一个会议或是晚餐的邀约。这些手机软件变成了第二个大脑，慢慢地操持了（很可能是毁掉了）我的生活。
Even romance has become overly planned these days. Almost every single friend of mine has used online dating to find their partners, including myself. These websites collect your data, analyze it, assign you numbers through arguably arbitrary algorithms, and give you an ordered list of likely lovers. They tell you percentage wise how much of a match they are, even how likely the person is to respond back. We no longer search for romantic partners, we shop for them. Just like when looking online for a new pair of shoes, one can sort men by highest rated, size, popularity, even by color. While I admit it’s all very practical, I have to wonder if it’s caused me to miss out on spontaneous interactions or chance encounters. I don’t even think to look around for guys in the real world anymore! 连爱情生活也被“安排”了。几乎每个单身朋友都有用过约会网站去找另一半，包括我。这些网站收集了你的信息，分析一番，通过不怎么科学的计算机算法，分配一些数字，然后发送给你一个列好顺序的名单，这些人有可能成为你未来的恋人。他们告诉你，从百分比的角度你们有多适合对方，甚至还可以告诉你，这个人有多大的可能性会回复你的信息。我们不再寻找生命中的另一半，我们“购买”他们。在网上买一双新鞋子的同时，我们也在约会网站上浏览“最受好评”的男人，根据不同的体型，受欢迎程度，甚至人种来选择我们感兴趣的对象。我不得不说这很实用，也不得不想，我们会不会因此错过了随性的交往，或是巧合下的相遇。
How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? 你现在对这段关系/实验感觉怎么样？
As I’ve been thinking about risks today, I keep coming back to something Jocelyn said in therapy. She thinks that in a way this project is cowardly. She asked why don’t just take the risk and just try to actually date, like the rest of the world. I think she senses there is interest on both ends, and she’s trying to push us together. 今天我想着“风险”的时候一直回到Jocelyn在恋爱咨询里提到的一个点。她觉得这个实验有点胆怯。她问，为什么不冒着风险去真正地交往，像全世界一样。我认为，她感受到两边都有兴趣，想要推我们一把。
Is there anything that you want to do differently? 有没有什么是你想改变的？
Additional comments? 其他想法？Risk failure in my life more often. 更多地去尝试，即使有失败的风险。
The photo shoot is over, and I haven’t slept in 40 hours. I might crash from exhaustion soon…这个拍摄总算结束了，而我已经连续40个小时没睡觉。我可能很快会过劳死...
第9天 Tim的日记
Did you see Jessica today? 你今天见到Jessica了吗？
What did y’all do together? 你们一起做了什么？Yes. 见啦。
Did anything interesting happen? 有没有什么有趣的事发生？Jessie was doing a 24-hour event/installation for Adobe at GoStudios on 39th Street. I stopped by the space around 6:30 PM to say hello and hang out for a little bit. I brought my buddy, BJ, who is a young man that I’ve been mentoring for the last four and a half years through Big Brothers Big Sisters. I thought he would like to see the fun Jessie and her studio can have with creativity. Jessie今天在39街的GoStudios为Adobe做了一个24小时的活动/装置。6点半的时候我去探班，打打招呼，在那里待了一会。还带来了我的好兄弟，BJ，一个大男孩。过去的四年半里，我一直通过“大哥哥大姐姐”辅导他。我想他也许会想看看Jessie和她的工作室在忙些什么有趣的东西。
Did you learn anything new about Jessica? 你有没有更了解Jessica？We hung out, ate and watched Jessie and her studio mates cover themselves in body paint. After an hour, BJ and I left to go see a movie. 我们待了一会，吃了东西，然后看Jessie和她的同事怎么往身上涂人体彩绘颜料。一个小时后，BJ和我离开了去看电影。
I was thinking about our therapy session yesterday, and how badly Jessie wants to be in love. I don’t understand what she’s worried about. She’s a great catch: talented, smart, honest, attractive, humble and successful. Last year I created a project where I attempted to draw a unique valentine for every single one of my Twitter followers on Valentine’s Day. It’s funny to think about the card I made for her. 我一直在回想昨天的恋爱咨询，包括Jessie有多想处在一段恋爱中。我不明白她在担心什么。她是一条“大鱼”：有才干，聪明，诚恳，有吸引力，谦虚，还有很成功。去年情人节，我试着帮我的每一个Twitter粉丝手画了一张特别的情人卡。想起帮Jessie做的卡，觉得很好笑。
Did you learn anything new about yourself? 你有没有更了解自己？
How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? 你现在对这段关系/实验感觉怎么样？I like to flirt, and it really hit me tonight that my flirting can’t be used as a tool for anything more right now. Not exactly groundbreaking, but it’s been a while since I had to filter myself. This is probably a good thing because I don’t want to be the old guy in the club one day thinking that my flirting is cute, when in fact, it’s just creepy. 我喜欢跟人调情，然后今天晚上我才意识到，噢no，我不能再把调情技巧当成一种工具，随意去勾搭人了。我已经很久没有约束自己的行为了。这可能是件好事，因为我可不想像一个酒吧里的老男人，觉得自己的调情很可爱，其实很猥琐。
Is there anything that you want to do differently? 有没有什么是你想改变的？I feel good. It was nice to see her today. I don’t know why I thought of this, but I noticed that we’re both punctual people. As much as I don’t love all her overzealous planning, I do appreciate that aspect. I feel like 90% of the girls I date are constantly late. 我感觉不错。今天看到她很好。不知道为什么我想到这个，不过我发现我们都很准时。虽然我不喜欢她对计划的过分狂热，遵守时间要点赞。我感觉百分之九十的女孩约会时都会迟到。
Nope, I think I was perfect today. 没有，我觉得今天没有一点不好。
Addtional comments? 其他想法？
连接前一天的日记，直接点击下面的阅读原文。【一起翻翻翻】如果你也想练练手，速来后台私我。私我私我。一定会署上你的大名&得到专业的校勘。原文来自于40 days of dating这个网站。BJ is 17 now, and I like to bring him around my work life sometimes, so he understands all the opportunities that are possible. As a teenager I was in constant search for an identity, always looking to fill the shoes of my missing father. I soon found an array of mentors in my life that I copied character traits from. They couldn’t teach me how to shave, as a father might have, but they gave me the tools to gain confidence in my life. And it’s no surprise that my relationship issues come from the same place, but perhaps a level of sincerity and a search will help that, too.
BJ今年17岁，有时候我会带他参观我的工作环境，这样子他会看到所有有可能的机会。年少时，我总是在寻找一个身份，想填补家里“不存在”的父亲角色。很快我遇到了一些导师，从他们身上学习到了为人处世。他们没办法教我怎么去刮胡子，像爸爸会教儿子，但他们递给了我工具，让我建立了生活中的自信。我在男女关系上遇到的问题从原生家庭而来，这不奇怪。不过保持一种真诚的态度，持续地寻找，也会有帮助的。
不可错过的关键词 温哥华富二代 | 天才之死 | 三八妇女节 | 魏则西 | 巴菲特的小孩 | 恋爱实验第N天系列 （N=1，2，3，4.......to 40)前面发生的事第1天
Tim和Jessica同是纽约的平面设计师，两个人有共同的朋友圈。他们对这个四十天的恋爱实验还没有头绪。第一天，Tim聊到了自己的单亲家庭，Jessica觉得他被亲生父亲抛弃，才害怕投入到一段感情中。
第2天
第3天两人一起去见了恋爱咨询师。咨询师毫不手软地向他们抛出了一大堆问题。他们有点不好意思地承认了对彼此的好感。
Jessica约Tim去外百老汇看戏剧。这部戏激起了Jessica的一些回忆，她对Tim坦诚相告。Tim觉得受到了信任，两人的感情增近了一步。
第4天
两个大忙人在超市买菜的空档见了个短暂的面。Jessica居然还留意到Tim生活上的一些小怪癖，看来有点戏。
第5天
两个设计师谈恋爱也要玩创意。两个人画下了他们记忆中的前任们。这样子的创意合作让他们感到满足又亲密。
第6天
第7天Jessica听到了朋友的一些冷言冷语，她迷惑着，两个人不发生关系，也算“谈恋爱”吗？Tim知道了她的困扰，却不知道如何给出一个答案，他感到了压力。两个人最后吵起来。
第8天Tim告诉Jessica顺其自然才是这个实验的初衷，别人的想法有对的地方，但不应该盲目听从。他们两个人一起去看了视觉设计学院的学生展，碰到了很有意思的会吐露秘密的糖果机。告别后,Tim试着用短信跟Jessica调情，悲催的是，Jessica完全没有get到。
Tim和Jessica去了第二次恋爱咨询，有好多新收获。咨询师告诉他们，原生家庭影响了他们各自的恋爱关系。Jessica因为父母和祖父母都幸福美满，也觉得这是理所当然的人生道路。Tim呢在没有父亲的单亲家庭长大，不知道怎么去给另一半感情支持。了解自己，学会放下，是他们要学习的恋爱功课。
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