奥巴马--被总统耽误的段子手

Istoryland北京时间2016年5月1日，美国总统奥巴马在白宫的最后一次记者晚宴上，化身段子手给大家带来了一场地道的海外清口盛宴。今天小编为大家准备了其中的一些小片段，让大家一起来感受这位被总统耽误的段子手释放天性之后的精彩表现。...





奥巴马--被总统耽误的段子

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北京时间2016年5月1日（美国东部时间2016年4月30日），美国总统奥巴马在白宫举行了他任期内的最后一次记者晚宴。在这场宴会上，他化身段子手，全程33分钟无压力地制造段子，给大家伙带来了一场地道的海外清口盛宴。今天小编为大家准备了其中的一些小片段，方便大家一起感受这位被总统耽误的段子手释放天性之后的精彩表现。

强行科普：白宫记者协会 WHCA (White House Correspondents' Association)，成立于1914年，由各大媒体专门负责报道白宫和总统新闻的记者们组成。自1920年起，白宫记者协会在每年4月的最后一个星期六举行晚宴活动，本意是答谢媒体，总统、副总统都会参加，但除了跑白宫口的记者外，媒体也可以邀请明星名流。Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor, and look at me now. I am gray and grizzled, just counting down the days 'til my death panel. Hillary once questioned whether I'd be ready for a 3 a.m. phone call -- now I'm awake anyway because I've got to go to the bathroom.

8年前，我还是一个满脑子理想主义、充满活力的年轻人。现在，再看看我，满头灰白毛，每天都在数着剩下的日子。之前希拉里还会问我，凌晨3点能不能做好接电话的准备。但现在，无论啥时候我都醒着，反正都要起夜上厕所。

In fact, somebody recently said to me, Mr. President, you are so yesterday; Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you -- he's so handsome, he's so charming, he's the future. And I said, Justin, just give it a rest. I resented that.

有人和我说，“总统先生，你现在已经过时了。贾斯丁·特鲁多（加拿大总统）已经完全取代你了。他又帅气，又有魅力，他才是未来!” 我就回他说，“小贾，你可得了吧。” 我可烦这事了。So time passes. In just six short months, I will be officially a lame duck, which means Congress now will flat-out reject my authority. And Republican leaders won't take my phone calls. And this is going to take some getting used to, it's really going to -- it's a curve ball.  I don't know what to do with it.

真是时光如水。再过短短六个月，我将正式成为蹩脚鸭总统，这将意味着国会会直接反对我的权威，共和党大佬将会不接我的电话，这得花一段时间去习惯。太难应对了，我都不知道该怎么办才好 （拜托，这些情况你不卸任也是有的好吗）

Even some foreign leaders, they've been looking ahead, anticipating my departure. Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe. That was a slap in the face. A clear breach in protocol.

有些外国元首已经在向前看，期待我卸任了，上周，乔治王子和我会面时，穿的是浴袍，简直是打脸般的耻辱，明显是违反协议啊。



但是自黑完后奥巴马也不忘给自己和妻子打打气：
You might have heard that someone jumped the White House fence last week, but I have to give Secret Service credit -- they found Michelle, brought her back, she's safe back at home now. It's only nine more months, baby. Settle down.

你们或许听说过，上周有人私闯白宫护栏。在这里我要特别感谢特勤局，他们把我老婆Michelle找回来了。她现在在家很安全。(对Michelle说) 宝贝！只不过还有九个月（我们就能离开这个鬼地方了），坚持住！

Bernie, you look like a million bucks. Or to put it in terms you’ll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of 27 dollars each.

Bernie，你容光焕发，看起来像捡了一百万美金似的。用你能听得懂得方式来说，那就是37000份27美元的捐款。（伯尼-桑德斯今年75岁了，但是他在年轻人里的支持率非常高，他的竞选资金也主要来自大量普通民众的小额捐款，其捐款金额的平均数约为27美元）

I am hurt, though, Bernie, that you've distancing yourself a little from me. I mean, that's just not something that you do to your comrade.

Bernie，你疏远我害我有点小难过。你不该如此对待同志。（奥巴马在此吐槽他太左，是共产主义者）You’ve got to admit it, though, Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative just signed up for Facebook. “Dear America, did you get my poke? Is it appearing on your wall? I'm not sure I am using this right. Love, Aunt Hillary.”  It's not entirely persuasive.

不过你也得承认，Hillary吸引年轻人的手法，就像你家刚注册Facebook的长辈一样，“亲爱的美国人民，你们收到我的捅捅了吗? （在Facebook 上，poke指你跟朋友在一起然后戳戳他，捅捅他~，类似于MSN上的消息震动）（我的信息）在你们的留言墙上出现了吗？我不知道用得对不？爱你的希拉里大姨。” 说服力不够。I‘m just kidding! You know I’ve got to talk about Trump! Come on!

我逗你们玩的！你们知道我肯定会说川普。拜托，我哪能这就说完。Although I am a little hurt that he’s not here tonight…You've got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no? Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a Trump Steak -- tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What's he doing?

虽然他今晚缺席我有点些受伤…但令人吃惊的是，有一屋子的记者、名流和镜头，他竟然会拒绝？难道是川普觉得今晚的晚宴太土了吗？他不来晚宴会去干什么呢？他会待在家里吃着川普牛排，然后上推特喷默克尔么？”（吐槽川普风头之王）They say Donald lacks the foreign policy experience to be President.  But, in fairness, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around the world:  Miss Sweden, Miss Argentina, Miss Azerbaijan.

他们说川普缺乏当总统所需要的外交经验。但是老实说，这些年他都在与世界各国领袖们接触：瑞典小姐，阿根廷小姐，阿塞拜疆小姐…”（川普主办过环球小姐大赛）Mike, a combative, controversial New York billionaire is leading the GOP primary and it is not you. Although it’s not an entirely fair comparison between you and the Donald. After all, Mike was a big-city mayor. He knows policy in depth. And he’s actually worth the amount of money that he says he is.

Mike，充满战斗力和争议的纽约巨富、领跑共和党的初选，而这个人居然不是你，你感觉肯定有点不舒服吧。当然，拿你和川普相提并论并不太妥当。毕竟，Mike当过大城市的市长，他对政治有深入了解，而且他的身家财富并没有注水吹牛。（特朗普与布隆伯格都是纽约富豪，但特朗普此前将他的资产从40亿吹到了80亿，最近自称上百亿）。”

Even reporters have left me. Savannah Guthrie, she's left the White House Press Corps to host the Today show. Norah O'Donnell left the briefing room to host CBS This Morning. Jake Tapper left journalism to join CNN.

就连媒体也离开了我。Savannah Guthrie离开白宫记者团去主持今日秀了。Norah O'Donnell离开简报室去主持CBS早间秀了。Jake Tapper离开新闻界加入CNN了。

(艾玛，直接吐槽CNN做的不是新闻)



And every year, the Washington Post laughs a little bit less hard. Kind of a silence there. Especially at the Washington Post table.

每一年华盛顿邮报都会笑得更没底气，好沉默啊，尤其是在华盛顿邮报那一桌。And with that, I just have two more words to say -– Obama out.  (Drops microphone.)  Thank you.

至此我还剩两个词，奥巴马，闪人

他帅气地扔掉了麦克风，走人。

欸，别急，你回来！这不是科比告别战上的经典姿势吗？你就说除了追《纸牌屋》，是不是也是资深科密？
(科比在篮球生涯的最后一场比赛结束后站在场地中央向全场球迷致辞告别，并说了一句：“曼巴离开（Mamba Out）。”作为资深篮球迷的奥巴马，自己最后一次白宫记者晚宴的告别也得别具匠心。“Obama Out”的桥段显然非常成功，不仅在推特上迅速蹿红，还引起了科比的注意，科比在推特上写道：“哈哈！#obamaout #mambaout”)






素材来源：普特英语听力网

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