想在社交场合撩大神？先学学如何进行愉快的small talk吧！

Smalltalk，在歪果仁的社交场景中十分常见的行为，可以发生在任何场合，任何人之间(eg.和同事等...



Small talk，在歪果仁的社交场景中十分常见的行为，可以发生在任何场合，任何人之间 (eg. 和同事等电梯时，和朋友在街上偶遇时，撩妹时，拍上级马屁时)。说白了就是“闲扯”，每个人都会。但我们中果孩纸在和歪果仁进行 small talk 时似乎并没有我们和华人“闲扯”时那么容易，所以让歪果仁们觉得“中国学生滴，社交滴，不擅长思密达”，给我们的 blend in 或多或少造成了一些障碍。本文就给大家分享一些如何与歪果仁进行small talk 的一些基本技巧。

气氛重于话题

Small talk 不仅仅是信息和想法的交流，也是情绪和气场的交换 (Exchange of energy). 各种话题仅仅是找人说话的一个借口，所以并不需要很深入 (deep) 或者有意义 (meaningful). 我们要让谈话氛围“轻松 (relaxe)”,“正能量 (positive)”。

上来先打招呼，直接一点，"Hi, Jen! It's good to see you.”会让人觉得你非常愿意交谈。微笑着直视对方，（可以对着镜子练习下，打招呼时候扬一下眉毛），尽量让身体正对着对方，避免让人觉得你是想打发时间 (kill some time). 身体尽量放松，不要双手交叉在胸前，也不要玩弄什么东西，如果实在不知道放哪，那就揣兜里吧。说话时候注意语气语调，欢快点，把情绪表现出来，这就是传递energy.



开启话题

找到你们之间的共同点。不需要你俩都是XX明星的粉丝，或者是老乡云云，只需要谈谈最浅显的，你们共同处于的某种环境，或者都知道的某些信息

例句来啦：

“Can you believe all this rain?”（天气，谁都躲不了）

“Professor Smith's lecture was a bit different than usual, don't you think?”（一起上过的课）

“Did you go to the team-building last week?”(都知道的活动)

“Did you hear that the dining hall caught into a fire yesterday?” (两人都知道的地方)

…

如果实在不知道怎么找共同点，那就夸夸人家吧！

“Hey I never knew you were so fit! You've been working out?”

“That' s a cool shirt! Where' d you get it?”

“Nice tattoo! what does it mean?”

“The bracelet is a beauty! Did you make it?”

“Great speech yesterday! You totally blew my mind!”



注意听，然后接话

不接话，那怎么叫做 "talk"? 千万别一个问题回答完了立即换个不相关的话题，那是查户口。仔细听对方说的话，从中搜索信息，能帮助你寻找新的共同点或者其他你能问或者发表评论的点，顺着说下去。

例句来啦：

对方“Well, I usually hate the rain, but hey, it saves the carwash money, right?”

你“Ha-ha, you really know how to save money! I appreciate that, but I still go to car wash cause I like to put wax on the car so it's shiny.”

对方“I couldn't make it to the team-building, had to take my cat to the vet.”

你“Really? What happened to your cat, is she alright?”

对方“Thanks for saying that, but I never work out to keep my shape.”

你“Come on. You look like an athlete, or you must be on some sort of diet, right?”

下面是整段对话，看看别人是怎么找信息接话茬的:

你: "I actually met Ashley on a Spring Break trip. We all went to Mexico with a bunch of friends."

对方: "I remember her telling me about the trip! I was actually helping her improve her Spanish for it, but I doubt she really used it much -- unless you count the phrase piña colada."

你: "You speak Spanish? That's awesome. You could have helped me prepare for my study abroad trip to Madrid. My Spanish was okay by the end, but I could have used some help!"

对方: "I love Madrid. My grandmother actually still lives there, so I visit her almost every summer. She takes me to the Prado every Sunday."

你: "Madrid is like my favorite city! The El Grecos in the Prado are to die for."

对方: "You like the El Grecos? I'm more of a Goya fan."

你: "Oh, really? You know, there's actually a new movie about Goya coming out next week-- I think Ethan Hawke's in it! Want to go?"

对方: "Of course!"

...



展现自己

我们要和人建立联系，当然要让别人知道自己是个怎样的人。针对话题发表自己的看法和故事，能消除陌生感，让对方觉得自己是个自信（鬼老十分看重这一点）、有想法的人。当然，还要记住2条原则：保持话题轻松愉快；不要涉及过于私人的信息，交浅莫言深。

例句来啦：

“I actually go there every weekend. How come I never saw you there?”

“About that, I gotta say blablabla…”

“The rain is just awful. I’m training for a marathon and had to do my long runs on the treadmill—it' s the worst.”

“Man, I got history in this place. I made my first friends in US here.”

“I don't know much about your business, but it sounds like it's got potential.”

有机会的话，把别人拉进来

还不太会small talk的小伙伴们，有可能会把话题说尽，所以有机会的话可以把其他人也拉进你们的对话，相当于与另一个人再进行small talk。而且人多的话会有更多的信息，也能帮助你找其他话题。如果拉进来的是个“侃神”，也许能主导一些话题，给你分担压力。

例句来啦：

“How about you? Are you also in the education business?”

“You've been quiet, are you not in our business?”

“How about you? Has the rain kept you from doing anything fun this week?”

“You two make a cute couple, how long have you been together?”

“Let me guess. You are a point guard, and your friend here must be a good center or power forward to make a team.”(篮球术语)



结束对话

可以邀约，开个玩笑，留电话（撩妹技），或者直接告别.

例句来啦：

“sorry, I gotta go. Nice talking to you.”

“Maybe we can ball together sometime. You guys playing this weekend?”

“The stuff you said sounds interesting. You got time for lunch? We can eat together and you can tell me more about it.”

“I'll catch up with you later. Don't you tell Linda I said that, or I'll kick your ass!”

“Go try that at home. Remember to carry a fire extinguisher just in case you burn your house!”



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