6.5和7的区别到底在哪里？ 6.5分段落改写_作业点评

6.5和7的区别到底在哪里？...

原段落：6或6.5分

Planting trees has some benefits.

Firstly, living in an environment with lot of trees can be conducive to citizen’s mental health.  This is because constantly being exposed to the natural sceneries can trigger positive moods and alleviate negative ones, thereby  unwinding residents’ minds. Additionally, for example, it is lots of trees in Guiyang that contribute to the relative lower ambient temperature in summer time. Consequently, this makes it become ranking number one city to travel for summer, thereby fuelling the tourist economy. Without these trees, Gui Yang would not have been a tourist city with its popularity of natural resources.

主要问题：红色的部分结构不清晰。

修改以后段落：7分

Planting trees has some benefits.

Firstly, living in an environment with lot of trees can be conducive to citizen’s mental health.  This is because constantly being exposed to the natural sceneries can trigger positive moods and alleviate negative ones, thereby  unwinding residents’ minds.Additionally, planting more trees could boost tourism. For example, in Guiyang, a town in China, after the government planted more trees/ added more trees, more CO2 was absorbed, which has reduced the temperature in summer time. It is this change/benefit that has made this city be known for its natural resources and pleasant climate/ weather and lured an increasing number of tourists.

课件下载（已经发到你的邮箱,因为是实验课程,所以没有放到网站） 

你的段落：

Additionally, for example, it is lots of trees in Guiyang that contribute to the relative lower ambient temperature in summer time. Consequently, this makes it become ranking number one city to travel for summer, thereby fuelling the tourist economy. Without these trees, Gui Yang would not have been a tourist city with its popularity of natural resources.

正确的recipes：

Additionally, a-c.

a b ….. past tense .. .

It is ….a/c   that c

具体分析： 

1.第1句话：

for example ,用了举例子,句子功能错误。

应该提出论点,使用a-c

2.第1句话：

强调句之前没有铺垫,过于突兀。

强调句的前面,最好写 a 导致 b. 然后再写,正是因为a或者b,导致了c

3.最后一句：

Without these trees

虚拟语气,不要和强调句在一起搭配,会超过字数…:(

4. 因为1,2,3的错误,说明你的Lesson4最新课程的recipes 没有实现学习目标

重新看Lesson4以下topic

如果你对abc和recipe 的方法不了解,请收看这个视频

基础知识：如何复习雅思写作

语法基础好,没有固定的deadline 45天7分 点击阅读,经验分享语法不好,每天只有2小时复习,deadline 紧迫 2个月写作7分拖延症严重,deadling 紧迫  2个月6.5-7

基础5.5  1.5个月5.5到6.5,点击阅读,经验分享

基础很好,deadline 非常非常紧迫！！ 14天 6-7分点击阅读,经验分享

阅读经验：从正确率20%到8.5分,只用了1个月！ 不用背单词！ 点击阅读,经验分享

32小时高清晰视频

每节课程搭配20-30在线填空题目＝500多道测试题目200组ABC词组讲解

100多道真题ABC答案讲解

Recipes 讲解

10大类语法精讲

每天微信答疑

作文批改：外教批改,24小时反馈,4个分项目评分 （VIP内容）

14篇Task2 批改

8篇Task1 批改

语法错误分类总结

VIP作业 Progress tracking 表格

每天微信,邮件提醒,跟进你的进度,杜绝拖延症

    关注 雅思Lynn