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爱是什么？这个问题问一百个人，就会有一百种答案，那你知道心理学家的答案吗？...

爱情是什么？

这个问题问一百个人，就会有一百种答案，那你知道心理学家的答案吗？

Robert J. Sternberg, the professor in Yale, has stated a theory of love, which is to say, love is generally made of three components:intimacy,passion, andcommitment.

美国耶鲁大学心理学教授罗伯特·J·斯多伯格（Robert J. Sternberg ）发表了关于爱情的三元论，他认为，爱由三个部分组成，亲密、激情与承诺。Intimacy

is the feeling of connecting and bonding within couples. For example, you'd love to share secrets with a close one.

亲密是伴侣间亲近且心有灵犀的感觉。比如，你会愿意向亲密的人分享你内心的小秘密。

Passion is the driving force that leads to romance. In other words, it means physical attraction.

激情是触发浪漫爱情的驱动力。你也可以把它理解为一种生理吸引。

Commitment

is the willingness to settle down and a promise to keep a relationship for quite a time.

承诺是你愿意为这段关系贴上恋爱标签，让这段感情至少维持一段时间。

如果将爱的三个组成部分进行重新排列之后，会得到许多不同类型的情感。下面这些情感中，有没有哪一种是你正在经历的呢？

喜欢（Liking）

If you are feeling connected with someone, but no passion and commitment to keep this relationship last. We define it as "liking", and it is the most common type of relationship between friends.

如果你和某个人很亲近，但是你们之间没有激情，也没有承诺去维护一段情感，这就是喜欢。喜欢是在朋友间最常见的一种关系。

如果在喜欢的基础上多了一份承诺，又会是什么样的爱情呢？

同伴之爱（Companionate love）

If you two are close, share secrets with each other, and both of you really want to committed to this relationship. This kind of love, which exists between you and your BFF (Best Friend Forever), is called "companionate love".

如果，你们亲密、你们互相分享各自的秘密，并且你们都很想维持这段关系。这就是“同伴之爱”，也就是你和你好朋友之间的关系。

那爱情又是什么样的呢？

迷恋之爱（Infatuated love）

If you only have passion or physical attracion, Dr. Sternberg called this relationship "infatuated love". Falling in love at the first sight belongs to infatuation.

斯多伯格博士说，如果两个人之间只有激情，或者我们可以称之为生理吸引，这就是“迷恋”。一见钟情就是一种迷恋。

可是，对于爱情，

我们总是有那么一点点的贪心，希望它不

仅仅只是一种迷恋。

浪漫之爱（Romantic love）

If you feel physically attractive by each other, and have intimacy, but you’re not making any commitments here. Dr. Sterberg calls that "romantic love". That is where all the relationships start, we are falling, being physically attracted, enjoy spending time with each other, no long-term commitment has yet been made.

如果你们拥有了亲密感，彼此之间产生了生理吸引，但却没有给予承诺。斯多伯格博士将这种关系称之为“浪漫的爱”。这是一段关系刚开始的样子，彼此喜欢，欣赏对方的容颜，喜欢和对方在一起的时光，但不给予任何长期的承诺。

完美的爱（Consummate love）

Now we add up the last element, commitment. Congratulation! You encounter "consummate love".

现在，我们为爱加上最后一个元素——承诺。那么，恭喜你！你遇到了“完美的爱”。

愚昧的爱（Fatuous love）

There is one kind of love that only contain passion and committement, it is named "fatuous love". It will probably lead to a "shotgun marriage", just like the plots in Hollywood movies.

只有激情和承诺的爱情，叫做“愚昧的爱”。就像好莱坞电影里的“闪婚”剧情。

空洞的爱（Empty love）

The worst kind of love in Dr. Sternberg's eyes is called "empty love". Imagine that, intimacy and passion have drained away day by day, but you are still going to keep this relationship. It is "empty love" because it can never fill the hole in your soul.

斯多伯格博士认为，“空洞的爱”是最荒唐的一种。一段感情里，当激情和亲密消散之后，却还要继续维持这段关系，岂不是“空洞的爱”？