婚姻中的第三方 Involve a Third Party

这里所指的第三方并不是普普通通的第三者，而指的是上帝、耶稣的天父、差遣保惠师圣灵的那一位...

一个成功稳固的婚姻关系必须有第三方的介入！我这里所指的第三方并不是普普通通的第三者，而指的是上帝、耶稣的天父、差遣保惠师圣灵的那一位，他的参与可以使我们的婚姻关系保持稳固和幸福。

关于婚姻，主耶稣在马太福音19:5-7节中有这样的教导：“夫妻不再是两个人、乃是一体的了。所以神配合的、人不可分开。”NIV版原文圣经是这么描述的：“上帝也介入其中，没人可以分开”。

想要拥有成功稳固的婚姻，配偶双方必须知道，婚姻是在圣灵引导下的合一，包括灵里的、身体的和思想意志（情感）的合一。不仅仅是两个人身体和情感的结合。灵里的合一是最高的合一，在夫妻关系中是最高且最重要的合一。

丈夫和妻子与上帝拥有稳固的属灵关系能够为婚姻提供长久的动力，并保持身体和情感上爱的关系——这是作为一位出色的配偶应具备的最基本特征!

这种认识将促使我们去爱、善解人意、总是想取悦并鼓励我们的配偶。更重要的是，它可以让我们在圣灵的引导下来解决冲突。

在我和爱人的婚姻经历中，我们靠着神在我们关系中的参与，得以保持婚姻的爱火强烈而明亮的燃烧。在实际层面我们该做些什么?

1

每天我们一起祷告



我们为自己、为家庭、为服侍、为我们的牧师、为我们的朋友祷告，求圣灵亲自带领。一起祷告使我们属灵上更加合一，这是想要拥有稳固婚姻必须要做的最重要的事。

2

当潜在的争吵和冲突出现时(我们的确会有分歧)，我们会祷告



每当分歧开始，我和爱人会祷告，防止撒旦借此在我们之间发动战争。我们通常会为我们的舌头祷告，让圣灵掌控我们的言语和我们的情感，在这一方面我们从来没有失败过。为什么呢?当我们祷告的时候，我们邀请第三者加入到我们面对的境况，并声明我们需要他的帮助。他的爱永不止息，他能安慰的受伤的心灵，禁止我们的口说出破坏性的话语，为我们的和解铺平了道路。

3

我们会一起敬拜和赞美上帝



不仅在教会服侍时，即使是在家里，开车的时候，甚至在我们彼此享受对方的亲密时间。一颗感恩的心是拥有稳固和幸福婚姻的另一个基本因素。

所以，我的同伴们，请确保在你的婚姻关系中总有第三方（天父上帝）的参与，花时间与上帝和你的配偶建立属灵上的合一关系。

在婚姻中享受上帝的同在。要知道，他是世间最伟大的爱人！

陈兆纪

Involve a Third Party  

A great marriage must involve a third party!

Not just any third party, but The Third Party who has an interest to keep our marriage strong. I am referring to God, the Father of Jesus Christ, the provider of the Holy Spirit, our comforter.

Concerning marriage, Jesus said in Matthew 19:5-7(The Message) that "Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art bycutting them apart." The NIV version says, "what God has joined, let no one separate."

To enjoy a great marriage, spouses must know that marriage is a Spirit-led sexual union of the spouses' spirit, body and mind(emotion). It is not just the coming together of the physical and emotion allives of two persons. Their spiritual union must reign supreme; it must be the dictatorial factor of the relationship between husband and wife.

A strong spiritual relationship between husband and wife and God provides the fuel for a long lasting and loving physical and emotional relationship - this is the basic characteristic of great lovers!

This realization compels us to be loving,considerate, always wanting to please and to encourage our spouse. More importantly, it allows us to solve conflicts in a Holy Spirit-led manner.

My wife and I have relied on The Third Party to keep our love for each other burning strong and bright. What do we do practically?

1.  We pray together daily. We pray for ourselves, our family, our ministry, our pastors, our friends and as the Holy Spirit leads. Praying together binds us spiritually together. This is the "#1 must do" activity for all who want a great marriage.

2.  We pray whenever a potential quarrel/conflict rears its head (and yes, we do have disagreements). Whenever adisagreement begins, My wife and I will pray on our own to prevent Satan fromusing it to start a war between us (he is an expert at doing that). We usually pray in tongues to allow the Holy Spirit to take control of the words and our emotions. This has never failed us. Why? When we pray, we invite The Third Party into our situation and declares our need for His help. His love never fails. He soothes the heartache and shuts the mouth from damaging words and paves the way for our reconciliation.

3.  We worship and praise The Third Party together whenever we have the opportunity. Not just during church services, but at home, in the car as we drive and even when we are intimately enjoying each other. A grateful heart is another basic ingredient for a powerful and happy marriage.

So my fellow great lovers, be determined to always have The Third Party in your marriage. Spend time building your spiritual union with Him and with your spouse.

Enjoy God's presence in your marriage. After all, He is the greatest Lover of all!

Steven

本文作者：陈兆纪

家庭第一特约作家

作者博客：http://begreatlovers.blogspot.com/

翻译：Grace

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