公开课精华  大作文低分变高分，只需要这样改逻辑和表达

昨天宗鹏老师在公开课3班的写作公开课真的是干货满满，错过的同学可别再错过这篇总结咯。1.评分标准写作四大评...



昨天宗鹏老师在公开课3班的写作公开课真的是干货满满，错过的同学可别再错过这篇总结咯。

写作四大评分标准大家都了解，具体内容仔细读一读会有很多收获。





选取一条TR=5分的标准举例：Presents some main ideas but there are limited and not sufficiently developed; there maybe irrelevant detail.

观点不鲜明，拓展不充分，细节不相关。

很多同学都在犯这样的错误而不自知。建议大家仔细读一读评分标准，看看自己到底有没有达到要求。

还有值得注意的是下面的几个扣分项：



Underlength：字数不够

No. of words：字数统计

Penelty：违纪（比如到时间了还动笔，作弊）

Off-topic：跑题（跑题文章最高分5分）

Memorised：背诵（全文抄袭，直接0分）

Illegible：字迹潦草看不清

模板能解决的问题都不是核心问题：文章结构，主题句，开头结尾段。

核心问题是什么：主题段的拓展和论证

低分段：论证名人广告会带来销量的上升

1. Sometimes people are more likely to buy products because celebrities have been employed to advertise them. 2. The famous people used in these advertisements make these products more attractive, so people want to purchase them.3. Therefore, the influence of celebrities can be a powerful reason for some purchasing decisions.

这一段看起来不错？翻译成中文看看：

1. 因为名人在广告中出现，所以人们愿意买东西。

2. 名人使得商品更有吸引力，所以人们愿意买。

3. 所以，名人的影响是决定是否买东西的重要影响因素。

三句话说的都是一回事，这就叫内容空洞，说车轱辘话。

高分段：

1. Sometimes people are more likely to buy products because celebrities have beenemployed to advertise them.2. In buying the product, the consumer may feel‘closer’ to a person they admire. 3. An example of this is when famous sport men or women endorse a particular brand of trainer or sportswear.

1. 第一句话不变。

2.解释：买产品之后，顾客觉得他们自己和偶像更接近了。

3.举例：体育明星代言

这就叫对理由的拓展和论证。

举例：论证学生学习泛而浅的内容好，还是窄而精的内容好

1. Admittedly, students may have a chance to find the field that they are interested in by learning a wide range of subjects.

高分：Admittedly, learning a wide range of subjects allows students to find their actual interest.

动名词做主语， allow代替have

2. During this process, students may know their merits and shortcomings, so that they would be clear when they choose their major.

高分：During this process, their merits and shortcomings in each field can be clearly recognised, thushelping them choose career .

被动代替主动，thus doing结果状语表达

3. However, students would not be taught the essential of a subject. Because of wide range studying, the time on each subject becomes less, so that they just learn the surface knowledge of a subject. This phenomenon may lead to a wrong course choosing as students might not understand the core of these subjects.

高分：However, due to the deficiency of time spent on each subject, knowledge they acquire tend to be superficial, which has negative effects on their future study.

过去分词做定语，省略that的定语从句，非限定性定语从句

课前还有两位同学提问，宗老师也热心的做出了解答。

Q：雅思写作的逻辑思维和句子结构如何训练？

A：前面内容实际上已经包含了。逻辑思维：用解释+举例代替车轱辘话反复说。句子结构：学习语法知识，各种句型分类积累

Q：小作文有什么技巧？

A：说两个大家可能会忽视的要点。A类小作文考察的能力：概括和筛选信息，也就是读图能力，这是下笔开始写的基础。G类小作文注意恰当的语气：根据写信的对象，以及情景选用恰当的语气。

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