DAY11：你不说我也不说。我们都不说。误会就来了。
我们忘记了，别人不知道我们过了怎样的一天。...
【一对好朋友决定连续约会40天，还记录下每一天。40天后好朋友能不能终成眷属？他们交换了日记，才发现男女想法大不同。两人内心世界将向你敞开，你会不会找到自己的影子？】
第11天 Jessica的日记
Did you see Timothy today? 你今天见到Tim了吗？
What did y’all do together? 你们一起做了什么？Sigh. 叹气。
Did anything interesting happen? 有没有什么有趣的事发生？Our friends Lotta and Jonathan were hosting an Easter potluck dinner with “the family.” That’s the nickname I gave our group of friends. We joke that I’m “Grandma”, since I’ve been known to go to bed super early. Tim named himself the “Slutty Sister.” 我们的朋友Lotta和Jonathan准备了复活节的聚餐会，“一家人”一起聚聚，“一家人”是我给这群朋友起的名字。大家开玩笑说，我是”奶奶“，因为本人很早上床睡觉。Tim自己命名为“风骚的姐姐”。
Did you learn anything new about Timothy? 你有没有更了解Tim？Earlier today, I went to see the NYC 1993 show at The New Museum and the Gutai show at the Guggenheim. Gutai was a Japanese artist group led by Yoshihara Jiro. They did a large body of experimental work together in the 50s and 60s including paintings, installations, exhibitions, and films. 白天我去纽约新艺术馆看了1993年的纽约展览，还看了古根海姆博物馆的Gutai展。Gutai是吉原治良引领的一个日本艺术家团体。他们在50和60年代完成了一批具有实验性的作品，作品类型从绘画，装置，展览延伸到电影。
(有留意到票根价值为0美元吗？因为Jessie买了年票，一年85美金，不限次数）
After the shows, my mind was racing with new ideas that Tim and I could
collaborate on. I wanted to share a little of this inspiration with him, so I picked up several books for him at the museum gift shop. I thought it would be nice ‘thank you’ after the sweet video he made me the other day. 看完展览后，脑袋里一直奔腾着我和Tim可以一起尝试的新想法。我想要分享这个展览带来的一点启发，所以在礼品部买了几本书，准备送给他。我以为这是一个很好的回礼，毕竟他几天前给我录了那个可爱的视频。（在美国，博物馆可以不逛，博物馆的礼品店是不可以不逛的，里面有许多有意思的周边商品）I gave him the books on the cab ride to Brooklyn and started to tell him some of my ideas. As he opened the gifts he became irritated, and tried to pick a fight. Not the reaction I was hoping for! He said my fluctuating mood was stressful. I was a little tense leading up to my big photo shoot the other day, but have since been upbeat and happy. His own moods fluctuate quite a bit, too. Yesterday he was happy, today he’s crabby. Anyway, I was able to calm things down, but it definitely killed my mood. At least the dinner was wonderful! We feasted on asparagus pie, ravioli, and lemon cocktails. 我在去布鲁克林的出租车上把书拿给他，开始说起我的一些想法。打开礼物的时候，他生气了起来，还想跟我吵一架。完全不是我想象的那样！他说我的情绪起伏不定，给了他压力。前几天为了一个很大的摄影项目，我是有点紧张，不过之后心情不错呀。他自己的情绪也阴晴不定呢。昨天他还很开心，今天就不高兴。总之我终于平息了这件事，但是心情完全被毁了。至少晚餐很棒！我们吃了芦笋咸派，意大利饺子还有柠檬调酒。
Right after we finished eating, a few things happened in succession. First, a wave of exhaustion hit me. I didn’t sleep at all the night of the Adobe shoot, and I only slept a few hours per night for the rest of the week. Secondly, I’ve been getting these terrible headaches lately, and it became unbearable after dinner. Next, I started to mull on Tim’s reaction to the gifts from earlier in the evening. And lastly, I got a text message from that ex who broke my heart last year: 我们吃完晚饭后，几件事情接连着发生。最先是一波无力感击中了我。为了Abode的拍摄我已经好几晚没睡觉，剩下的一周每天晚上也只有几个小时的睡眠。我的头痛越来越严重，晚饭后痛得受不了。然后我开始在想Tim收到礼物后的反应。接着收到前男友传过来的一条短信，去年让我心碎的人。
My heart sank. I thought I was over him, but I guess I’ve been holding on to hope. All I wanted to do was go home and crawl under my covers. Everyone was having such a great time, and I didn’t want to kill the mood. I pulled Lotta aside and let her know what was going on, and then I left. 我的心沉了下去。我以为我已经忘了他，不过也许心里还残存着希望。此时此刻我只想回家缩在被子下面。而我也不想扫朋友的兴，大家看起来都很开心。我把Lotta拉到一边，告诉了她现在的状况，便离开了。
Did you learn anything new about yourself? 你有没有更了解自己？Tim can be grumpy and moody. I don’t hold it against him, though. We can all get that way. Tim也会脾气不好，情绪不稳定。我不是想指责他什么。我们都有这种时候。
How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? 你现在对这段关系/实验感觉怎么样？I stress because I give a fuck. Whether it’s in my work or my relationships, I’m very passionate. When I care about someone, I tend to care and empathize with them very deeply. Tim is starting to enter this “I care about you” zone, so I internalized his crabby mood. I let it get to me. 我那么紧张是因为我在乎。工作也好，恋爱也好，我都用一颗热情的心去对待。当我在乎一个人，他很容易让我在意，让我产生深切的同理心。Tim开始进入了“我在乎”的区域，所以我内化了他的不良情绪，影响了我。
Later that night, I decided to call Tim and tried to talk to him directly about what he was feeling. He’s been over thinking everything, and sending me mixed signals. He’s both interested and scared to become intimate, yet he’s still being flirtatious and showing signs of wanting more. Why is this so difficult? The back and forth is confusing, and I’m tired of playing guessing games about what he wants. He said he had had a few too many cocktails, and that he’d prefer to talk about everything in the morning. 晚上我决定打电话给Tim，试着直接询问他的感受。他真是想太多了，总是传递着不一致的信号。他想变得亲密，也害怕变得亲密。他带着挑逗的语气暗示了他想要更多。为什么这么难？这一来一往的拉锯战让人摸不着头脑，我已经累了，不想再玩猜心游戏。他说他喝了太多酒，还是明天早上说比较好。
Is there anything that you want to do differently? 有没有什么是你想改变的？
Additional comments? 其他想法？I shouldn’t internalize the moods of the person I am with so deeply, it’s been a source of stress in my past relationships. 我不应该吸收消化另一半的情绪，这在过去的关系里给我造成了很大的压力。
第11天 Tim的日记All our friends at the dinner party were couples. I watched as they exchanged kisses, teased each other, laughed with each other, etc. I can’t deny that I felt a little envious. 我们一起聚餐的朋友成双成对。看着他们互相交换亲吻，开彼此的玩笑，一起大笑....我没办法否认我感觉有一点嫉妒。
Did you see Jessica today? 你今天见到Jessica了吗？
What did y’all do together? 你们一起做了什么？Oh boy. 别提了。
Did anything interesting happen? 有没有什么有趣的事发生？Our friends Lotta and Jonatan invited us over to their place for an “Easter Feaster” dinner party with some other friends of ours, three other couples. 我们的共同朋友Lotta和Jonathan邀请我们去家里吃一顿复活节大餐，其他一些朋友也去了。
Did you learn anything new about Jessica? 你有没有更了解Jessica？Jessie and I shared a cab on the way over there. I was already in a crabby mood from my day, and I ended up picking a fight with her. The last couple days she’s been stressed, and when this happens, I can really feel that energy. This can be frustrating for me, so I think I took it out on her. Anyway, Jessie, was in a great mood and she was inspired from museum hopping all day. She even brought me a bag of gifts. It was very sweet. I’m sorry I was being an asshole. Jessie和我一起搭的士去。今天心情本来很不好，后来还跟她吵起来。这几天她一直压力很大，我可以感受到一种负能量，让我也很没心情，所以拿她当了发火的靶子。总之，Jessie本来心情很好，看完一天展览后受到了很大启发。她还给我买了一袋子的礼物。好感人。我很抱歉我渣一样的行为。
After the cab ride, I figured it couldn’t get worse. Well, it did. Things were great until dinner, when everybody started asking us about the project. Jessie seemed uncomfortable talking about it, and she became very aloof. She eventually left without much explanation to anyone. Now, I’m at the dinner party feeling like the bad guy, and everyone is asking me why she left. D-R-A-M-A. 下了计程车后，我以为事情不会更糟了吧。呃，还真的变糟了。饭局一片欢乐，吃完饭每个人都在问我们实验的问题。Jessie看上去很不想聊这个，变得很冷淡。最后她提前离开了，也没有跟大家解释。我一个人留在了聚餐会，感觉自己是那个坏人，然后每个人都在问我为什么她走了。什-么-烂-剧-情。
Thirty minutes later, she called me to say that we needed to “stop playing games.” What does that even mean? I’m not playing games, I’m being cautious! As I keep reiterating, I’m not interested in leading her on or hurting her. Can’t we just hang out, be cool and see what happens naturally? I told her that we should discuss this tomorrow, since we had both had too much rum cocktail. 30分钟后，她打电话给我，说我们应该“停止玩游戏”。这是什么意思呢？我没有在玩游戏，我只是很小心！正如我反复重申的，我不想引导她，也不想伤害她。难道我们不能出来一起玩，be cool，再看什么会自然地发生呢？我告诉她我喝了太多郎姆调酒，有什么话明天再说。
Lately, I feel like her mood can sway at any given moment. I know she’s stressed from her headaches—and my uncertainty is not helping—but her moods are draining me. 这一段时间，我感觉她的心情随时会起变化。我知道头痛给了她很多压力——我这边的不确定性并没有起正面作用——但她的情绪把我拖下水了。
Did you learn anything new about yourself? 你有没有更了解自己？
How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? 你现在对这段关系/实验感觉怎么样？She made a comment at dinner, jokingly saying I’m “controlling.” I know I was a jerk in the cab, but now I’m controlling? It didn’t make me feel so good. 她在吃饭的时候评论，带着开玩笑的意思说“我在控制着。” 我知道在计程车里我是一个大渣男，不过是我在控制吗？这种感觉一点也不好。
Is there anything that you want to do differently? 有没有什么是你想改变的？Not good. She seems very affected by this project. She wants more from me, and I feel pressured about it. 不好。她看上去被这个实验影响得很厉害。她想从我身上得到更多，而我感受到了压力。
Addtional comments? 其他想法？Everything. 所有。
点击下面的阅读原文，可以看到前一天的日记。看看有没有你感兴趣的关键词 温哥华富二代 | 天才之死 | 三八妇女节 | 魏则西 | 巴菲特 | 人民日报 （输入关键词会推送过来一篇跟主题相关的文章）All I could think about was that line from The Real World, “When people stop being polite and start getting real.” Yup, here we go. 我能想到是真人秀节目《现实世界》里的一句台词，“当人们不再以礼相待，露出真实的一面。” Duang，现实砸在了头上。（现实世界是MTV的两个强档真人秀节目的衍生剧。两队人马开展竞赛，争夺现金大奖。）
第1天Tim和Jessica同是纽约的平面设计师，两个人有共同的朋友圈。他们对这个四十天的恋爱实验还没有头绪。第一天，Tim聊到了自己的单亲家庭，Jessica觉得他被亲生父亲抛弃，才害怕投入到一段感情中。
第2天两人一起去见了恋爱咨询师。咨询师毫不手软地向他们抛出了一大堆问题。他们有点不好意思地承认了对彼此的好感。
第3天Jessica约Tim去外百老汇看戏剧。这部戏激起了Jessica的一些回忆，她对Tim坦诚相告。Tim觉得受到了信任，两人的感情增近了一步。
第4天
两个大忙人在超市买菜的空档见了个短暂的面。Jessica居然还留意到Tim生活上的一些小怪癖，看来有点戏。第5天两个设计师谈恋爱也要玩创意。两个人画下了他们记忆中的前任们。这样子的创意合作让他们感到满足又亲密。第6天
Jessica听到了朋友的一些冷言冷语，她迷惑着，两个人不发生关系，也算“谈恋爱”吗？Tim知道了她的困扰，却不知道如何给出一个答案，他感到了压力。两个人最后吵起来。第7天
Tim告诉Jessica顺其自然才是这个实验的初衷，别人的想法有对的地方，但不应该盲目听从。他们两个人一起去看了视觉设计学院的学生展，碰到了很有意思的会吐露秘密的糖果机。告别后,Tim试着用短信跟Jessica调情，悲催的是，Jessica完全没有get到。第8天
Tim和Jessica去了第二次恋爱咨询，有好多新收获。咨询师告诉他们，原生家庭影响了他们各自的恋爱关系。Jessica因为父母和祖父母都幸福美满，也觉得这是理所当然的人生道路。Tim呢在没有父亲的单亲家庭长大，不知道怎么去给另一半感情支持。了解自己，学会放下，是他们要学习的恋爱功课。第9天
Jessica因为工作的原因不能厉害工作室，Tim带着他辅导的小男生一起去看她。他们聊了一会，分手后各自回想了一下昨天的恋爱咨询。Jessica领悟到工作和生活一样，不要害怕失败努力去尝试。Tim的生活得益于人生中遇到的好老师们，所以他相信，恋爱生活也一样，持续努力便会改变。第10天Jessica虽然对篮球不感兴趣，还是陪着Tim去看了尼克斯的NBA球赛。看比赛是Tim最大的乐趣。他们在球场一边吃东西，一边聊着天，一边看球赛，两个人都很开心。比赛后，Tim本来想邀请Jessica去他家，后来又作罢。
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