心理&生活 五个词转变你的生活态度

 

Self-help

guru Dale Carnegie was once asked what was the most important lesson he ever learned in life. His answer: “By far, the most vital lesson I have ever learned is the importance of what we think.” Science wholeheartedly agrees. Research has found that our thoughts - particularly on how we perceive external events - are one of the strongest indicators of happiness. So it follows that kind, encouraging “self-talk” leads to a positive outlook on life in general.

有人曾经问成功学大师戴尔·卡耐基，他人生中学到最重要的一课是什么，他的回答是“到目前为止，我学到最重要的一课是思维方式的重要性。”科学完全证明了这一点。研究表明，我们的思维方式，尤其是感知外部世界的方式，是人们幸福与否的重要指标之一。所以，总体来说，鼓励“与自我对话”有利于形成更加积极的人生观。

So

how do we influence our thoughts? By choosing the right words. According to a host of research in the field of social psychology, making simple changes to everyday words can have a powerful effect on our feelings and behaviors. These five words and phrases can help bring mindful attention to how the words you use everyday can influence your life - in a positive way.

所以，怎样才能影响到我们的思维呢？答案就是选择恰当的措辞。许多社会心理学的研究表明，在我们日常使用的表达方式中做一点简单的改变，将会对我们的情感和行为产生巨大的影响。以下的五个词语会让你注意到，日常的表达是怎样以一种积极的方式影响我们的生活的。

“SOME”

“一些”

Using

the word “some” instead of “all” or “none” has the power to put situations into perspective and cut down on generalizations.

在表达时使用“一些”，而不是“全部”或者“没有”，这样可以帮助我们正确看待问题，减少概括化处理问题的可能性。

FOR EXAMPLE: “Some things aren’t going my way at the moment” sounds a lot more manageable than “nothing is working out for me this week.”

例如：“现在有些事情没有照我的预期发展。”听起来比“这周我什么事儿都没做好”要容易控制多了。

“AND”

“而且”

Another

handy substitution trick: using “and” instead of “but” can open up a dialogue and cut out unnecessary conflict.

另一个常用词替换的小伎俩：使用“而且”，而不是“但是”，利于展开一段新对话，并且减少很多不必要的争端。

FOR EXAMPLE: “I agree with a lot of what you are saying AND I wonder if we could examine this particular point” gives you a window for feedback and clarification, while making the person you’re speaking to feel valued and heard.

例如：“我很同意你说的，而且我想知道我们能否验证这一点”，这会让对方觉得别人在倾听自己的意见，并受到了重视，而且你也有机会做一个反馈，阐明自己的看法。

“NO”

“不”

Skillful

use of the word “no” can foster both personal fulfilment and better relationships with the people around you - it’s all about finding the yes-no balance.

有技巧地说“不”可以培养个人成就感，也能让你和周围的人保持更好的关系。重要的是找到说“是”和“不”之间的平衡。

FOR EXAMPLE: Saying “no” to an engagement that’s not right for you shows that you value your own time and have a strong sense of self. Remember, saying “no” to one thing always means saying “yes” to something else - freeing up time and emotional bandwidth to engage in positive, fulfilling activities with the right people.

例如：对一个不适合自己的约会说“不”，能够显示出你对时间的重视，自我意识很强。但要记得，你对一件事情说“不”时，经常意味着你可能要对另外一件事情说“是”，腾出时间和感情跟合适的人一起去参加一些积极、令人愉快的活动吧。

“THANK YOU”

“谢谢”

These

two little words can have an instant positive effect on your life - and the lives of the people around you. By appreciating the good things in life and voicing that gratitude, you’re bringing an optimistic attitude to the forefront of your mind. Similarly, accepting a well-intentioned compliment with a simple “thank you” can help positive words sink into your self-conscious - instantly boosting your self-esteem.

这两个简单的字不仅会对你的生活、也会对你周围人的生活产生立竿见影的积极影响。通过发现生活中美好的事情，并对此表示感激，你可以将一种积极的态度带到思维中。同样，在接受善意的赞美时回一句简单的“谢谢”，能够帮助你把这些肯定的字眼融入到自我意识当中，立即提升你的自尊心。

FOR EXAMPLE: Send a thank you note (or SMS) to a friend who did something nice for you this week. You’ll feel great and so will your friend.

例如：这周你的朋友帮了你的忙，你可以写一封感谢信（或者是发一条短信）致谢，你和你的朋友都会感觉很温暖。

“I’M SORRY”

“对不起”

This

is another big one for the important interpersonal relationships in your life. By taking responsibility for your own transgressions or expressing empathy for someone else’s situation, you’re putting your own ego aside to connect with another person.

生活中处理重要人际关系时常会用到这个词。对自己的冒犯行为承担责任，或者是对别人的境遇表示同情，你正在放下自我，把自己与他人联系到一起。

FOR EXAMPLE: The standard “I’m sorry for…” is pretty easy to grasp, but showing genuine empathy can be somewhat trickier. Listening to a coworker’s story and saying something like, “I’m sorry you had such a hard meeting. That sounds really frustrating” can invoke positive feelings and foster goodwill - for both you and your teammate.

例如：标准的说法“对……我感到很抱歉”是很容易掌握的，但是要表现出真正的同情就有点麻烦了。在听同事的故事的时候，说一句“我很抱歉听到这个，你居然经历了这么痛苦的约会。听起来真的让人很沮丧。”这样一说，不仅可以在你和同事们之间激起积极的情感，还能增添善意。