【婚恋】给丈夫的教导 What Jesus taught us about husbanding?

 

Ajith Fernando is an internationally known and loved Christian author and teacher, called “the Asian John Stott” by some.

Ajith Fernando是世界闻名的基督徒作家和教师，被有些人称为“亚洲的John Scott”。

He was born in Sri Lanka, came to the United States for graduate studies, and returned to his native country, which was engulfed in conflict, and served for 35 years as the national director of Youth for Christ.

他生于斯里兰卡，后到美国求学，又返回他的祖国，那个陷于冲突之中的国度。在那里，他服侍Youth for Christ长达35年。

He said profitable time away with your wife from the rough and tumble of everyday life is not about having money in your pocket, but about having a heart to make your wife happy.

他说到他与妻子如何从乱做一团的日常生活中逃离出来，享受单独的约会时光，并不是指一定要有钱，而是要有一颗让妻子快乐的决心。

He has tasted what it means to have a happy marriage, but he’s quick to admit that it didn’t come easy.

他品味过幸福的婚姻，当然，他也承认，这并不容易。

Happy Wife, Holy Ambition 快乐的妻子，圣洁的抱负

Fernando’s core message for young husbands like me is make it your ambition to make your wife happy.

作者对年轻丈夫们的核心忠告是“要把令妻子快乐作为自己的野心”。

The heart of husbanding, he says, is an ambition, not a burden, to gladly empty oneself of selfish comforts in order to fill one’s wife with joy — to find your own joy less in small private pleasures and more in shared happiness with your wife. It’s his way of pressing home the truth of Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

他说，做丈夫的关键是一种抱负，而不是负担。要倒空自己自私享乐的欲望，更好的满足妻子的喜乐。少一些享受自己私人的快乐，更多地寻求和妻子共享的美好。这正是主在以弗所书5:25中提到的真理：“你们做丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。”

While ambition is an inspiring word, and a fresh way of capturing a timeless truth, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to bring her joy. It’s costly. We call it “sacrifice.”

因此，“抱负”是一个启发性的词，一个全新的方式抓住永恒的真理，但那不意味着使妻子开心是件容易的事。要付上代价，我们叫它“舍己”。

At the heart of what it means to be a husband is to give of yourself — not mainly your money, but yourself .

最中心的信息是，丈夫需要交出自己，不是交出你的钱，而是你自己。

Ajith is quick to confess that marriage is not easy.God didn’t make marriage to make life easy, but to make us holy.

作者承认，经营婚姻并不容易。 上帝设立婚姻并不是为了让生活更容易，而是让我们更加圣洁。

He didn’t give us marriage to make us comfortable here, but to deepen our joy in him and prepare us for the life to come.

他为我们设立婚姻不是为了让我们在地上享受，而是让我们经历祂更深的喜悦，并为着那将要来的日子做好准备。

As Christians, we have a great hope to hold to in any marital struggle.

作为基督徒，在婚姻挣扎中时，我们会有极大的盼望。

“God is above all our problems and will help us,” says Fernando. “God is committed to this marriage. And real happiness in marriage is learned in struggle.”

“上帝超越我们一切的难处。”作者说，“上帝已经委身在这段婚姻当中了。而真正的幸福也恰恰是在这些冲突中。”

Struggle is another important word for Fernando. It’s a biblical term, and is inevitable for joy-seekers living in a sin-sick world.“We are bruised people,” he says. Conflicts will come. Often. But “struggle doesn’t need to be unpleasant.”

挣扎是作者的另一个重要核心。它并不是一个圣经中的词汇，但是在当今充满罪的世界，对于寻求喜乐的人来说不可避免。我们都是受过伤的人，冲突不可避免，但是没有人规定在冲突中一定要不开心。

“What ruins life is to think that struggle means winners and losers. Struggle means becoming more like Jesus. Struggle is part of our journey to be more like Jesus. We are not afraid of battle.”But we do need to learn how to struggle well.

在冲突中想要一争高下是毁灭婚姻的关键。冲突乃是意味着把我们变得更像耶稣，那是我们成圣途中的一部分。我们不害怕战争，但我们也确实需要在冲突中学习如何处理好。

Fernando points to what he calls “the love fight,” which means caring enough to confront, being truthful, not sinning in what we say, and truly forgiving by not bringing up the past.

作者称它为“爱的战争”。意思是，我们要勇敢的面对，真诚，不在话语上犯罪，真实的饶恕，而不是总拿过去说事。

“When you are having a fight, pray most — ears listening to wife, mouth talking to her, heart listening to God.”

“当你和妻子吵架时，一定要祷告，用耳朵倾听妻子，用嘴和妻子交谈，用心倾听上帝的引导。”