【Quora精选】“你养我长大，我陪你变老”。在父母老去之前，你应该做些什么？

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这个问题，曾经在一间教室中被提问。

第一题，有10%的同学选A，10%的同学选B，80%的同学选C。
第二题，30%的同学选了A，30%的同学选B，40%的同学选C。

“看来，美女毁容比男人破产，更让人不能容忍啊。”提问的教授看着大家的答案笑了， “做这两题时，潜意识里，你们是不是把他和她当成了恋人关系？”
“是。”同学们答得很整齐。
“可是，题目本身并没有说他和她是恋人关系啊？”

教授似有深意地看着大家，“现在，我们来假设一下，如果，第一题中的‘他’是‘她’的父亲，第二题中的‘她’是‘他’的母亲。让你把这两道题重新做一遍，你还会坚持原来的选择吗？”

这一次，教授再统计大家的答案，同学们都100%地选了A。

教授的语调深沉而动情：“这个世界上，有一种爱，亘古绵长，无私无求；不因季节更替。不因名利浮沉，这就是父母的爱！”然而，随着子女的成熟，父母终不可避免地会面临垂垂老去。当面对日渐衰老的父母，我们该做些什么，来回报这份深沉的爱呢？

Quora上获得67.3k好评的回答@Thomas L. Johnson：

As a 70-year old, I can tell you what I like as a parent. I like it when my son asks if I want to go to a Timberwolves game or fishing on Rainy Lake. My wife and I both enjoy an evening together with the son and his wife playing Scrabble or Catan. We are planning a long trip together for the near future.

作为70岁的老人，我可以告诉你作为父母我想要什么。我喜欢儿子问我是否想去看森林狼（NBA里面明尼苏达的球队）的比赛或者去雷尼湖钓鱼。妻子和我都喜欢和儿子儿媳晚上一起玩拼字游戏或卡坦岛（一款思考策略游戏），我们正计划不久以后一起去长途旅行。

If your parents are mature and happy, they will enjoy having you around for some special days but really are not quite “over the hill,” as far as having a life of their own. In my view,aging is hardly a disaster.

如果你的父母思虑周全而且很幸福，他们会喜欢某些特殊的日子你们能陪在身边，但他们也不是完全“年华已逝”，他们还有自己的生活。在我看来，衰老并非不幸。

And what I really appreciate is a long phone conversation every week.

我真正想要的是每周通一次电话多聊一会。获得2.4k好评的回答@Stacie Marie Carrel：

THEY NEED

他们需要

-A Retirement Plan because they need to know how much money they can take out each year, and how much they can do with that money. Without a retirement plan they won’t know if they have the money to travel once a year or 5 times a year.

-一份退休计划。因为他们需要知道每年能取出来多少钱，用这些钱他们能做多少事。要是没有退休计划他们就不知道自己的钱够一年旅行一次还是五次。

- Retirement money If in the US, Social Security alone isn’t going to cut it even if they just sell the big house, move to a small one.

-退休的钱。在美国即使卖掉大房子搬到小房子里，只有社会保险也是不够的，

-Reconcile any health vs house difficulties. If they’re in a house with lots of stairs, but there’s a family history of needing a walker in late life, then that’s going to be an issue. They may need to either sell the house and move, or start work on the necessary accessibility changes they’ll need later.

-解决健康和房子之间的矛盾。如果他们的房子里有很多楼梯，但家里又有晚年坐轮椅的家族史，那问题就来了。他们可能需要卖掉房子搬家或者开始着手营造日后需要的无障碍环境了。

- A durable power of attorney and medical wishes so that if they are ever incapacitated or rendered incapable of self-care, they’ll have someone appointed ahead of time to take over those responsibilities.

-一份永久授权书和医疗意愿。这样当他们丧失行动能力或不能自理时能提前安排好人来接管。YOU NEED

你需要

-To not be dependent on your parents financially. Too many able-bodied and mentally capable adults are living with their parents as moochers. With parents soon losing their income, they won’t be able to financially tap into the massive savings they’ve built up for someone else’s needs, because that money needs to last for upwards of 30+ years.

-经济上不依赖父母。有太多身心都健全的成年人和父母一起住啃老。父母很快就要失去收入来源了，在经济上他们没有能力把攒下的一大笔钱给别人用，因为那些钱是他们要用来维持未来30多年的。

- Your own savings set aside for parental care. Some medical issues are VERY expensive, even with the best health insurance money can buy. They can quickly eat up a couple’s retirement savings. If you can set aside backup money of your own just in case that happens, it will give you and your parents more options in the future should something big come up.

-攒下点积蓄照顾父母。即使买了最好的健康保险但有些医疗是非常贵的，会很快耗尽老夫妻的退休积蓄。如果你未雨绸缪自己留些钱备用，未来发生大事时自己和父母也能多些选择的余地。

-To have your OWN will and power of attorney and medical wishes that address your parent’s care and well being, not just your own. If something happens to you, and your parents are in a state where they are dependent on your care and/or money, you NEED to have someone appointed ahead of time to take over your duties.

-有自己的遗嘱、永久授权书和医疗意愿，不仅安排好自己，还要安排好父母的护理和健康。如果你发生不测而父母完全依赖你的照顾或钱，那你就需要提前安排好人接替你。最后，一定，一定。

要让我们成功的速度一定快于父母老去的速度。」

努力，让自己变得优秀，不仅仅是为了自己，更是让父母老有所依…



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