【美文赏析】Earth, Swallow Me Up

They say that one time someone confused a boy’s fat re...





They say that one time someone confused a boy’s fat red cheeks for two tomatoes, he burnt his hand when he tried to pick them. And that was the least he could expect, because Alfie was the most easily embarrassed person you could imagine; and he greatly feared being laughed at.

Even the slightest annoyance would turn his face as red as a chilli. And so it was that one day something truly ridiculous happened to Alfie, something which almost made him explode with embarrassment.

He was with his friend Jamie, practicing for a play Jamie was going to be in that day: The Three Little Pigs. After a while spent rehearsing the play, Alfie remembered that he’d invited Dora to his house that afternoon. Dora was the sweetest, prettiest, cleverest girl in his class.  Alfie ran straight to the playground, found Dora, and said to her, “What do you think? Should we go to my place? I can give you a sausage sandwich...”

And just as he finished saying this, he realized that he had forgotten to remove the mask and costume of the little pig! Dora was speechless. Everyone in the playground started laughing, and poor Alfie, unable to react, just thought, “Earth, swallow me up!”

Suddenly, Alfie disappeared into the ground, and found himself in an incredible place. Everyone in that place had wanted the Earth to swallow them up! And it was no surprise at all, because the faces of the people there were all covered with expressions of thorough embarrassment. Alfie met an athlete who had run a race in the wrong direction, and had thought he had won it by a huge distance. He met a bald young lady whose wig had blown off during a storm, and he met a bride who had stepped on the train of her wedding dress and ended up rolling about like a meatball.

Soon, Alfie found out that the only way to escape from that place was through laughter. But not just any kind of laughter; you could only escape by learning to laugh at yourself. It wasn’t easy; some people had spent years there, under the Earth, refusing to find anything amusing about their own embarrassment.

But Alfie managed to overcome this, and learned how to find the humor in those moments of shame and embarrassment. He also learned to use them in a way that made others laugh, and bring them a little joy. When he remembered himself in the little pig mask, talking about sausage sandwiches with Dora, he couldn’t stop laughing at the whole situation.

As soon as he realized all this, Alfie was immediately returned to the playground, in front of Dora, just where he had left her. But this time, far from getting embarrassed and tongue-tied, he smiled at her, took off his little piggy mask, wiggled his little piggy bottom, and said, “Come on, cheer up! Today I have a great ham in store!”

Dora and the others laughed, and from that day on, Alfie became one of the funniest kids at school. He was able to make himself and others laugh at whatever happened to them.

谁的青春岁月，没有遇到过令人尴尬的时刻？你有没有遇到过一些让你想找个地缝钻进去的尴尬事？一起学学如何巧妙化解吧！

据说有一次，有人把一个小男孩胖嘟嘟的红脸蛋儿错当成了两个西红柿。当那个人试图去摘西红柿时，竟把手给烫伤了。这可是他怎么都预料不到的事儿，因为阿尔菲是你能想象到的最容易窘迫的人，而且他非常害怕被人取笑。

即使是最微不足道的烦心事都能让他的脸红得像辣椒一样。有一天就是这样，阿尔菲身上发生了一件真的非常可笑的事情，一件几乎让他尴尬万分的事。

那天，他正和朋友杰米一起排练杰米即将参演的戏剧《三只小猪》。排练了一会儿，阿尔菲想起来自己邀请了多拉那天下午去他家玩。多拉是班里最甜美、最漂亮、最聪明的女孩。阿尔菲径直跑到操场上，找到多拉，对她说：“你觉得咱俩去我家怎么样？我可以给你拿香肠三明治吃……”

话一说完，他就意识到自己竟然忘记把小猪面具和戏服脱下来了！多拉一时间说不出话来。操场上的所有人都哈哈大笑起来，可怜的阿尔菲不知所措，只是想着：“让我钻到地缝里去吧！”

突然，阿尔菲消失了，来到了地下。他发现自己到了一个不可思议的地方，那里的每个人都曾经想钻到地缝里！而且这根本不足为奇，因为那里的人们脸上都是一副无比尴尬的表情。阿尔菲遇到了一位运动员，他在一次比赛中跑错了方向，还误以为自己把对手远远丢在身后赢得了比赛。他还遇到一位光头的年轻女士，在一场暴风雨中，她的假发被吹走了。他还遇到一位新娘，她踩到了自己婚纱的下摆，结果导致自己像肉丸子一样在地上滚来滚去。

很快阿尔菲便发现，要想逃离那个地方，唯一的办法就是笑。不过，不是什么样的笑都管用，只有学会嘲笑自己，才能从那里逃脱。做到这点并不容易，有些人就不愿从令自己难堪的事情里找到乐趣，因而已经在地下待了好多年。

不过，阿尔菲设法克服了这一点，并学会了从那些丢脸、尴尬的时刻中找到笑点。他还学会了用自己的那些难堪瞬间逗其他人笑，为他们带去小小的欢乐。想到自己戴着小猪面具跟多拉谈论香肠三明治的整个情形，阿尔菲禁不住笑了起来。

认识到所有这一切的那一刻，阿尔菲立即被送回了操场上，出现在多拉面前，而且就站在他消失前站的那个地方。不过这一次，他一点儿都没觉得尴尬，也没有语无伦次，而是朝多拉笑了笑，摘下小猪面具，扭了扭小猪屁股，说：“拜托，高兴起来嘛！今天我们家可是有超级美味的火腿哦！”

多拉和大伙儿都笑了。从那一天起，阿尔菲成了学校里最有趣的小孩之一，无论大家身上发生了什么事情，他都能够让自己和他人一笑置之。

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